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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26688877">Pulse 11</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldfusion9797/pseuds/coldfusion9797'>coldfusion9797</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pulse [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys Kissing, Canon Dialogue, Goodbyes, M/M, No Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:09:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>983</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26688877</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldfusion9797/pseuds/coldfusion9797</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A couple of wayward sons carry on.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pulse [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1914787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pulse 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Alternate versions of two scenes from 12.22, one each for Sam and Dean. Not that there was much I needed to do to totally gayify them, every word of dialogue comes from the show 🙊</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He sags to the floor, hot and sweaty and out of breath, but not in the good way. Dean slumps down beside him.</p>
<p>"We earned a break," Dean puffs.</p>
<p>"Yeah," he agrees, they've been swinging these picks for the better part of an hour with no real result.</p>
<p>"We'll get there," Dean encourages. He appreciates the optimism, but it's unrealistic.</p>
<p>"No. No, we won't," he sighs, they've barely made a dint in the concrete wall of the bunker. They are well and truly trapped in here. "We're not gonna hit through it for three days. Two if we're lucky. I know you feel it, the air..." He sucks in a breath, doesn't quite get all the oxygen he needs. "And it's getting thinner."</p>
<p>Yet again, here they are, staring down the barrel of death. Usually, it's one or the other of them dying, and one of them scrambling to stop it. It's oddly comforting now, and yeah he does get how messed up that is, to be as equally screwed as each other. To just be in it together, all the worry gone.</p>
<p>"How did this happen?" he wonders. How is it that things always go so wrong, so fast?</p>
<p>"What part?"</p>
<p>"All of it..."</p>
<p>"Yeah... You know, it wasn't long ago I thought we had it made, we saved the world, we got Cass back, we had Mom back. I mean, it wasn't perfect, but still, we had them. But now..."</p>
<p>"Now they're all gone."</p>
<p>
  <em>Except, not all of them...</em>
</p>
<p>He rests his head on Dean's shoulder and laces their fingers together. The most important one is still right here.</p>
<p>"Is this how you pictured it? The end..."</p>
<p>Dean squeezes his hand and turns his head, lips resting in Sam's hair, breath tickling his scalp.</p>
<p>"You know it's not. I always thought we'd go out Butch and Sundance style..."</p>
<p>He knows that's not true, doesn't mind the fib though, because in the past Dean has always spoken about the ends of their lives as separate things, him going out swinging, but Sam getting out and going on, having a normal life, dying an old man. But now he's admitting he sees it differently, now he sees them on the same path, and that alone is enough to comfort Sam in these final hours, to know that above all Dean wants him close, has whole-heartedly accepted the completeness of their connection. Finally, he can die with no regrets.</p>
<p>"Blaze of glory..."</p>
<p>"Blaze of glory."</p>
<p>Then he feels Dean smile, knows he's thought of something, and Sam thanks his lucky stars yet again that Dean is the one beside him.</p>
<p>xxx</p>
<p>As he sits here with his leg blown to hell, watching Sam step up, he couldn't be prouder. His baby brother is a combination of nature and nurture, a good man solidified by a hard and demanding life, and Dean would be lying if he said he wasn't also a tiny bit proud of himself, because he had a little something to do with the nurture part of it.</p>
<p>Standing here, ready to lead an army to preserve their way of life, Sam is the man Dean always knew he could be. Every hunter in the room believes in him too.</p>
<p>Jody calls 'gear up', and Sam turns to him, a routine part of his kit. It's always like that, where one goes the other follows, no question, but he can't, not this time.</p>
<p>"You ready?"</p>
<p>"Oh," he says, hobbling to his feet. "I'm not going."</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>He doesn't want to let Sam down, but there is no other choice.</p>
<p>"With my leg busted up the way it is, I'm no good in a fight."</p>
<p>"I'll take a jacked-up Dean Winchester in a fight over any other ten hunters, any day."</p>
<p>"Yeah..." And its testament to how much his love and respect has grown for Sam, that he is ready to let go, ready to trust him to get the job done on his own. "I saw you. You're ready for this. You go show those sons of bitches who's boss."</p>
<p>"What about you, what are you gonna do?"</p>
<p>"I'm gonna save Mom."</p>
<p>Jody's there watching, waiting for Sam, and Bevell is still hanging around like a bad smell.</p>
<p>"You got this," Dean smiles, dancing around the point because they have an audience, but then he decides screw it, who gives a damn who's watching, nothing is ever guaranteed on a hunt, and he'd never forgive himself if caution ruled what might turn out to be their last goodbye.</p>
<p>"Come here."</p>
<p>Sam's in his arms in a heartbeat, squeezing him tight and Dean squeezes back. He knows the man, the hunter, that Sam is, has got this, but he still wants to protect the little brother, and the partner he simply never wants to let go of.</p>
<p>"You come back."</p>
<p>"Promise."</p>
<p>He's just made up his mind to kiss Sam, when Sam's lips land on his, so he pours everything he can into it; the want, the need, the pride, the respect, the care, the longing, the joy, the years, the miles, the struggle, the sacrifices, all of it, and maybe it's just more of the same, but he will never get enough of the way this bond between them makes him feel whole. How it makes him feel like he matters, how it makes him feel like he can do anything because he knows Sam is in it with him. And the love, there's a bit of that in there too.</p>
<p>Looking into Sam's eyes, all that is reflected back, and Sam brushes a thumb over his cheek, then presses it into his pulse point, an echo of another goodbye, but this one feels a lot less hopeless.</p>
<p>"Bitch..."</p>
<p>"Jerk..."</p>
<p>Then they let go, and all Dean can do is carry on and have faith that he will see Sam again soon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This feels like a natural point to conclude this series. My ideas about their relationship, and the point they reached with each other in the show have pretty much converged (minus the snogging). What can I say? I didn't decide to write this, it was just there in my head, and the characters dictated how it played out, I didn't choose any of it. I feel like my journey with fanfiction has finally come full circle, since I discovered Wincest twelve years ago, of all the fandoms I've dabbled in and all the things I've read and written since, this was the story I needed to tell, these are the characters I love most, but back then I never could have hoped to produce anything remotely worth reading for them. Thanks so, so much to everyone for reading, especially those who gave kudos, and especially, especially to those who bookmarked and commented. As always, your support is greatly appreciated. Later bitches and jerks ✌🏻</p></blockquote></div></div>
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